mood - related - symptoms

Assalamualaikum :)

How to say, huh ?

I think of the past, and I get scared whether some similar stuff or mindsets would come back to me again. Whether I'm more mature this time. Whether I've got the equation right. Somehow i think i 've do better. I became more sopan while talking, more understanding and more flexible,  Trust me !

I think of what I'm doing now, and I seem more mature, yet there are some things which just don't go away. I try to change my ways, but I realize it isn't so easy, so I try to hide them. Sometimes I feel i'm never satisfied, yet I don't know what I want to be satisfied, so basically I can never ever be satisfied. So I just train myself to let things go. I tried to calm my self so harder. I asked my self to be more flexible in every circumstances. Which means i'll treat people like the way they treat me. That is for sure, believe me !

Rambling again... 

Life is hard isn't it... It's just meant to be that way...

I feel like a bad person now actually, demanding for too much! requesting for things! not feeling happy when things don't go my way! always complaining! always needy! Want people to give in to me, being nasty sometimes, even my abah ! I don't know... I just don't know. I think I'm a little scared now, scared to be myself when I'm feeling down or irritated or unhappy. 


This should be highlighted ! i'm a kind of person who always need attention. I can't live alone and only if he has works to do and i know about it. This will happened if he not with me. You see that, what penting die dlm hdp aku! But things going up side down just now. I screwed it. Ntah knp nth. Aku nk mengamuk je. And now, he going away from me. ;(

Then again... maybe I ought to just go sleep now, and all these unhappy and hurtful thoughts would just go away and things won't seem so terrible.

p/s : I think I'm thinking too much again... And i just clueless how to fixed it. I miss you abg.  And i think am having this ; The most common mood-related symptoms are irritability, depression, crying, oversensitivity, and mood swings with alternating sadness and anger. Hmm ;( Till then my dear, salam.


-serabut, 19:23 pm-