To be positive right now, that is. But the truth is, I’m failing miserably at looking on the bright and cheery side of life. That is called up and down in human's life. I believe in forgiveness with all of my heart. I believe everyone makes mistakes. Whether they are justified or not. Everyone will mess up time and time again in their lives. Sometimes when you feel hurt and someone has lied to you or betrayed you, it seems really hard to forgive them for what they've done. And that's completely understandable. When i feel hurt, i just want to sit there and go on and on about how i feel, even if i am being redundant. Or i feel the need to hang the guilt over that person's head, just so they know how upset i am.
I still do this quite often. When i love, i love deeply. And when i hurt, i hurt just the same. I'm far, far from perfect. I look in the mirror every morning and i don't only see the frizzy mess of hair and my droopy, half closed tired eyes. I see all the mistakes I've made. I see my irrational human self, who has hurt so many people, made so many mistakes, and has quite a few regrets.
I've often been the person who caused other'pain. I'm not innocent in this matter whatsoever. I've gotten angry and said words that shouldn't have been said, and made situations much worse than what they needed to be. My mind never stops thinking, i will never stop messing up and i will always have good times and bad times. Both in life and the decisions i make.
p/s: Praying i do just a little bit better tomorrow.
-ainku, 22:56 pm-
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